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diff --git a/fig-web/src/Fig/Web/Module/Misc.hs b/fig-web/src/Fig/Web/Module/Misc.hs
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+module Fig.Web.Module.Misc
+  ( public
+  ) where
+
+import Fig.Prelude
+
+import System.Random (randomRIO)
+
+import Control.Lens ((^?), Ixed (..))
+
+import Fig.Web.Utils
+import Fig.Web.Types
+import qualified Fig.Web.DB as DB
+
+public :: Module
+public a = do
+  onGet "/api/motd" do
+    DB.get a.db "motd" >>= \case
+      Nothing -> respondText ""
+      Just val -> respondText $ decodeUtf8 val
+  onGet "/api/catchphrase" do
+    let catchphrases =
+          [ "vtuber (male)"
+          , "man of letters"
+          , "cool guy, online"
+          , "internet clown man"
+          , "professional emacs fan"
+          , "web freak"
+          , "guy who really likes programming"
+          , "i use nixos btw"
+          , "(are these funny or cringe or both?)"
+          , "haha yay"
+          , "Joel"
+          ] :: [Text]
+    i <- randomRIO (0, length catchphrases - 1)
+    case catchphrases ^? ix i of
+      Nothing -> respondText "man of letters"
+      Just val -> respondText val